Oh Happy Days!

Today is the day of Arafat. Which I'm sure you'll know is the day before Eid.
There is so much blessing in today, an  ideal day to fast, pray extra nafl, read Quran and ask Allah for forgiveness.

But what has really hit me this year is that for the first time, the kids have been just as excited about The Day Of Arafat as they are about Eid.
Maybe because they are older and understand the concept more?
Or maybe because we have made more of an issue about it this year?

So it really all boils down to what you highlight as important.  If you make a huge deal about your kid singing a song about a big red combine harvester in the school assembly but don't even mention the Day of Arafat and its importance and blessings, which one do you think they will remember?

If you make a big deal about Monday mornings nicely ironed uniform but don't bother with friday's Jummah clothes then which one do you think they hold in higher esteem?

Whatever you make important will become important. So we have to make sure that we ourselves know what  is important and what is not. What is bidah and what is not. What will please Allah and what will not.

Back to school bugs.

It's that time of year again.
The house has been quiet for a week or so - yes the kids went back to school!
BUT- a couple of weeks in and those nasty back to school bugs have taken a hold. Summer is not too bad - the weather is nice. So ok, the weather is not too bad and there may be a spot of hay fever around, but come September/October the cough, cold and sickness bugs are on a role! They can spread around a classroom like wild fire - which then gets into your home and eventually some one in your household will be sick.
If you have kids you know exactly what I mean.
If you don't have kids those bugs will still find a way back to you!

So I thought the one thing you really need to have ready this time of year is a good medicine box. Because when you feel ill the last thing you want to be doing is hunting down pain killers and hot water bottles.

Now I have a son with a physical disability so our medicine box is more Holby City or House than you really need.
But there are a few good essentials you need to have easily at hand - in a box way out of any kiddies reach.

1. Good painkillers - In our house we really rely on Paracetamol and that'll do it. Unless my son needs morphine which is only kept on an as need basis, and strictly not for any one else to use.

2. Decongestant - coughs and colds are bound to make an appearance so get in some of those hot decongestant drinks. They do already contain pain killers though, so be careful not to overdose by accident.

3. Olbas oil - for kiddies blocked noses at night.  Gentle versions are out there for babies and always good to have.

4. Plasters - if you have kids no more needs to be said! And if you get the long rolls of plaster don't forget scissors.

5. Hot water bottle - ok maybe not in the medicine box but know where it is for earache, tummy ache, period pains. A wheat bag is just as good and no risk of scalding yourself if the bottle pops (it happened to me as a kid and was really not a nice feeling!)

6. Thermometer - sometimes you feel hot and your temp is actually fine. So get a thermometer so you can better judge if you or your child really needs the medicine or not. I have one of those forehead ones which is probably not the most accurate kind but does give an idea of what your temp is and doesn't run out of batteries when you really need it!

7. A secret stash of tissues - oh yes! I have a box or two hidden away because you can guarantee some one will really need them and none will be around. Just the empty box that no one bothered to throw away or inform you that it was empty!

I'm sure there's more medical stuff you can do with as each family is different - but thats just the basics. Creams, antiseptic - its all down to what you prefer. 

And what made me think of this today?  I have a poorly 8 yr old off school with a nasty cold and fever - so it is only a matter of time before we all come down with it!

Back to school

The kids are gone - its back to school. The house is quiet - for the first time in seven weeks!

Schooling and education is a huge issue with raising our kids.
Do you home school? What about Islamic school?

Basically it comes down to what are your best options that don't compromise your deen.
I have home educated in the past - 3 of my children were home educated for the majority of their infant school. My disabled child was home educated as well for a few years due to his condition.

Now they do go to an lea school - and they are fine there until there is a situation where their deen is compromised.

Home education was a no go long term for us as there was no other parents doing it locally at the time. Well, there was us and two other families.  But my kids where missing out on social interaction. Academically they were two years ahead of their peers - but school isn't just about academics. Its about learning to live with others and cope with others.  And I do know some children now who are home educated who just cannot interact with other children. Some I'm sure are doing an excellent job at socialisation so I wouldn't criticise all home education.  But be realistic.  If it ain't working for you and your child, it's not working!

There are islamic schools near us - but one follows madhabism and the other is run by a mosque who believes if you call others to Islam, actively participate in dawah or try to raise awareness of problems our Ummah is facing in Syria or Egypt, you are too political and a trouble maker.

So a non religious lea school it is. We have full access to view the curriculum and opt to come out of collective worship and music.
My eldest daughter went to a high school which allowed her to wear Jilbaab and Hijaab. If they had said she can't wear it, we would have taken her out.

No compromise on the deen is the easiest way to do it. It's just a shame the 'Islamic' schools would make us compromise the deen more than the lea schools.

Preparation

Assalaam alaikum.
What are we doing as Muslim parents? I mean have you ever sat down and thought what is my job here? What is my purpose in raising a child?

Well if not,  and you already have kids then sit and think about it now.

I wasn't raised as a Muslim and my parents focus was very much on an education; money;  a job; a house; a nice car. Basically it was all Dunya based.
Now I am raising my own kids as a Muslim and my focus is completely different.
The Hereafter;attaining Jannah; being healthy; being educated in the Deen; enjoining the good and forbidding evil.

Basically my parents wanted to raise me with their values. They wanted me to be focused on what they considered to be important. Likewise I am doing the same with my children.

So when it comes to raising your children, the question is not how you want them to be, but rather what things and values are important to you.

Because your example will the basis of how you teach them and what you expect of them.
So we need to look at ourselves before we look at our kids.

Introductions.

Assalaam Alaikum.
OK - So things got a little held up over Ramadan - but Allhamdullillah. If you don't get a little held up over Ramadan then you have a problem!

There are so many issues bugging me at the moment -
1)  wasting time in Ramadan
2)   everyone doing Eid on different days
3)   putting madhabism above Quran and sunnah

and that's just in the last ten minutes!

But seriously, I thought the best thing is time for introductions, so whoever pops by has some idea of where I am coming from.

I am a muslim revert, married, mum of seven. One of my boys has a physical disability and so I am his full time carer.
I have struggled with organising a big household - and am getting somewhere eventually 18 yrs down the line!

I take my role as a wife and mother very seriously and I HATE when people assume I must be either uneducated, subservient, oppressed and down trodden because I choose to stay home and raise a family.

So basically that's it! I have been put off doing a blog for so long because I am concerned that something I may say may be against the true teachings of Islam, and then I inadvertently lead someone away from the straight path, but have been advised by a few sisters to just do it. So if I put anything wrong, misinterpret anything or make any mistakes then that is from myself, let me know. Any good here is from Allah, He alone we worship, and He alone we turn to for help.

Assalaam Alaikum

Assalaam Alaikum - and welcome.
This is the start of my new blog on being a Muslim mum.
Inshallah there will be loads to blog about - from parenting issues to general issues and current events. So if you are not a Muslim mum, then do still please join me!
I would appreciate if only sisters and women (non-Muslims more than welcome) follow this page.